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Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Me, me, pick me...

Dear Dr. Dean,
I understand the DNC is giving away MI delegates this season. I am enquiring as to whether or not they are still available. It's okay, I am not a typical white woman, I am a male, albeit white and in the age group you and the rest of your star chamber rules committee are offended by. Please hear me out as you may need me come November. I will need full delegates and I would say about 69 of them should suffice. Or you may call for a unanimous vote at the convention with no roll call thus hiding the fact that I haven't actually won any primaries and have zero popular votes. Please, don't tell anyone, but you could take about a third of the vote from Senator Clinton as you say you won't be needing them. Let's keep it just between you and I and Ms. B.
You know, if we plan this whole thing out; by slipping me some delegates on a daily basis, I could be the Democratic Party's standard bearer come November. You might note my negatives, I have no criminal associates, my pastor preaches love of country, not hatred; I have no elitist spouse; my bills are paid on time and I even managed to get the mortgage on my shoebox house on my own merit. On the plus side, I did smoke pot in the 60's, not quite up to snorting coke but still illegal. If you wish, I could write a "autobiography" making up a lot of stuff to enhance and spin my past. I could call it "The Dreaminess of Audacious Fluff".
Dr. Dean, I just thought I would float this by you, in case you suddenly understood that you have a really flawed candidate on your hands and you needed another unqualified person as the Party seems bent on rejecting the best Presidential candidate this country has seen in years, Hillary Rodham Clinton.
God bless,
PUMA

13 comments:

Puget Sound Island Girl said...

I shall comment first (and maybe second, third, etc.).

I did email Dr. Dean and I did explain that as a citizen of the United States of America, who is of electable age, and who can locate Michigan on a map----well, I told him I deserved more delegates that stinky got from that sham delegate dolling meeting.

Puget Sound Island Girl said...

I never heard back from Dr. Dean about my requested delegates!

Maybe he is still doing some calculations!

There is no Great Lake in Oregon said...

Nice avatar PSIG

Anonymous said...

I will only keep the details of this rendezvous to myself if I am awarded several dozen delegates based on the completely unDemocratic TX caucuses. I suffered through severe emotional distress throughout that ordeal. I want--no I demand that I have my name entered in for the "Democratic" nomination.

What say you, Mao Dean? What say you?

tvlcrazy said...

Hmmm...well if the DNC is giving away free delegates again, where do I sign up?? I think they might look mighty pretty as decoration around the house. Ooooh - or maybe they could go to work for me so that I can hang out at home, go for walks and do all the other stuff that I want to do! Work is so overrated and takes up waaay too much time.

So Mao Tse Dean, can I have me some delegates pleez??

artsykr said...

Yo...Dean...I demand some o dem dare frwee delegates you all been handin out...utterwise i got friends ...we godda undastandin herrwe ? O and a....i expect dem dare delegates asap or a else... hey i mean, if obama can use dem kinda scare tactics what the hey why can't anyone else ya know what i'm talkin' bout here?!

Puget Sound Island Girl said...

I shall comment again!

Since I suffered through three levels of Washington State cauci I demand 333 delegates!

Since I am a US citizen (and always have been)---I demand even more. I want my end total to be 2008 x 44. And if that's not an option, I want them ALL (except Hillary's--she gets all of hers!).

And when all is said and done, I will then transfer my hard earned delgates to the one, the only, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Yeah, that will work for me.
How about you??

DWPforHILL said...

Dear Dr. Dean,

I am still awaiting the courtesy of your reply in regard to my request for delegates. I understand that you are touring the South, trying to brib... er, register voters. Surely, however, you can take a moment to send me an email confirming I will be receiving my delegates, and giving me an approximate arrival date.

Anonymous said...

I'm still waiting for Donna Brazile to keep her word and resign from the Democratic Party.

PortiaElizabeth said...

Sorry, but I think The Dreaminess of Audacious Fluff has already been assigned to Obama's diary of his failed Presidential campaign. It's the poignant story of a demi-god who finds that his clay feet have been exposed and his cult-following is only the fluff of dreams.
At least that's my prayer...

DWPforHILL said...

Dear Jack,

This week's installment of delegates was returned to us by the shipper because they were damaged during shipping. Apparently, they had been exposed to the dangerous PUMA disease and become contaminated. We will re-ship when the decontamination process is complete.

Sincerely,
DNC Shipping Dept.

TriciaNC said...

I asked for my delegates as well.

Unfortunately, just like the voters in MI and Fl, my request fell on deaf ears as I have not received them. Or half of them.

Anonymous said...

Wake up! Reality is all around you. HRC was outwitted by the candidate you blast with no experience. With than inexperienced guy trashing HRC why should she be President?????